Yo, Rudy: Shut Your Mouth When You're Talkin' About Gay Marriage

My friends, I hope you would agree that this blog is a civil forum for the discussion of the most pressing topics affecting our planet. I am, if nothing else, a gentleman. But sometimes you gotta do like Oprah after the show and take your shoes off and just start swangin' at dumb-ass people that needle you into a brawl. Or, if you're a pansy like me, a nasty blog post.

Hi, Rudy Giuliani - welcome back from political obscurity. It had been a minute since I last thought about how stupid and slimy you are.

The former NYC mayor and clumsy presidential contender, who would scream "fire!" in a crowded theater for attention, is back to his old shenanigans, elbowing his way into the gay marriage debate. In an interview with the New York Post (snicker) this week, he addressed New York Governor David Paterson's move to legalize gay marriage in the state: "Marriage, I believe, both traditionally and legally, has always been between a man and a woman and should remain between a man and woman."

Now picture me smiling and nodding at this prick all polite and such before I throw a martini in his face and remind him of his Gay Pride marching back in the 90s.

Rudy, you dropped the ball in the GOP primaries - nobody bought your redeemed conservative act which is why the heartland gave you a pat on the bum and sent you and your honking, obnoxious wife back to the hovel from whence y'all came. But now here you are, trying to get your come-up off the gays. You're an attention-seeking, depraved starlet at best, but you're mostly a prick. Your kids told me so.

Let's not be delayed, people: Rudy is taking a shot at your life and is hinging his aspirations for world domination on the hopes that he can stir the GOP to consensus by hate.

OK Rudy, we wanted to play nice but now you're getting a little out of hand. While we don't expect your opinion to matter much we're aware of your scheming and witch hunting and we won't let you get away with it.