Heads Up, James: I Like the Finer Things

Ol' penny pinch - I mean, James - is loving the news of our country's economic meltdown. Why? Because he loves being right. And because all of his chats with me about how I should save more and stop perusing Orbitz.com for our next vacation destination and check out my 401K statement are, he hopes, finally sinking in.

Except they're not. I still want to go to Tokyo next summer to visit my cousin and I want to buy these Gucci loafers. So poor James has to be patient, kind, and explain to me, very slowly, why it wouldn't be wise right now to start liquidating my savings on shoes, jeans and trips. He's even trying to use our recent redecorating project as an excuse for - and I really, really hate this term - cutting back.

I can think of a few things I can start cutting back on as well, and so a lengthy negotiation begins and in the end, nothing is resolved. What's one less pair of Diesel jeans or an entire summer or winter spent in New York? Poor James doesn't want to find out.

Granted, something about the impending collapse of our country's financial institutions has the macho in me saying "hell no the damn economy don't affect me. WATCH me buy this bottle of Veuve and go buckwild on Bluefly.com. Sh*****t." Instead of stocking up on water and canned tuna, or whatever one needs to survive the collapse of civilization, I'm wondering if bow ties really are the hot item for men's wear this winter. (On the one hand, yay for the preppy look, but on the other, do I really want to look like a nattering personal assistant?)

But I digress...

According to New York magazine, conversations about fiscal prudence are taking place all across tony enclaves in the city. And these conversations aren't focused so much on what the upwardly mobile won't be buying, but on what they can and can't lay claim to anymore. "I used to work at [insert name of once-pre-eminent-financial-institution-here]" is kinda like saying "I used to be Vanilla Ice."

With that realization comes an unwanted reworking of plans and priorities - as one couple profiled for the New York piece said, it's smarter to pay the mortgae than to remodel the kitchen.

Sadly for James we rent and I barely cook. And I'm a size 11...

Barack is Not a Terrorist...He's a Gentleman

After watching the thirty-minute schlock fest that was Barack Obama's, sigh, historic multi-million-dollar ad buy last night I realized that I wouldn't mind having him give a State of the Union address. Brace yourselves: I actually like Barack.

It's been fascinating to watch the McCain campaign unravel. The nastiness of their tactics, which I commended for their representation of brass-knuckle politics, has been trumped by Barack's tempered, gentlemanly maneuvering. John McCain's team put out some fun YouTube videos comparing Barack to Paris Hilton and spent the rest of their money on making Sarah Palin look less like a redneck woman (her words, not mine). Barack laughed all the way to a primetime TV spot on all the major networks.

And I love it. Let's just hope the rest of America does, too, and votes accordingly next Tuesday.

I Wish My Mom Would Come Out of the Closet

When she's not cheering on her new girl crush Rachel Maddow, or slapping her knee and "yeah"-ing to Bill Maher, or ending her 13 hour workday with Chris Matthews, my mom is doing one of three things: calling yours truly to talk about any of the aforementioned TV personalities and trying to make weekend plans with James and me; yelling at my politically unmotivated brother and father; or silently nodding at Kingdom Hall (that's what Jehovah's Witnesses call church) where neither her left-of-center leanings matter and no one gives a hoot about her gay son.

In short, my mom lives in the closet and in the turmoil that such a limited spiritual framework imposes on the soul. On the one hand she's adamant about her faith that the political mechanisms of this world are useless and that God is going to met out justice soon enough (and in the process "fix" her gay son and his partner whom she adores as one of her own); on the other, she HATES the Republicans, "esa Sarah Palin es un demonio" ("That Sarah Palin is a demon") she's wont to say, or, "I can't watch the Fox News Channel because I feel attacked whenever I tune in. They don't like blacks, latinos or gays."

And neither does she. Sometimes.

On her good days - of which there have been many, many more following a near heart attack and stroke (at 53!)that have forced her to take a more measured approach to challenges, whether political or spiritual - my mom can eviscerate the GOP machine, inquire about my gay friends and tell me when my outfits work, don't work and when I should put the cheesecake down. "Those are not Calvin Klein abs," she'll say and thus puts a stop to the conveyor belt of champagne and desserts heading toward my gullet.

But on her bad days, which usually follow big JW gatherings such as district conventions (where tens of thousands of faithful gather for a weekend of speeches on faith), my mom calls me in sobs and says "I wish you were here."

Though my gut instinct is to say, "yeah mami, the cute waiter you have a crush on at Elmo wishes you were here, too," I've learned to either not pick up the phone on those convention weekends or simply say "oh mom, don't worry, I'll go with you soon enough."

And that's the sort of "what elephant in the room? Yo no veo un elephant" relationship that my mother and I have. My best friend lives on the down low, toiling away in Brooklyn during the week and then driving in a panic to Chelsea on the weekends. Mimosas at Le Singe Vert, shopping at Loehmann's, Funny Girl in my newly decorated blue-and-gold apartment -- my weekends belong to my mom and it's here in the pink-lined streets of Chelsea where she, and other gay misfits, have found their own little slice of the Big Apple that accepts her, loves her and doesn't attack her. Unless her shoes and purse don't match in which case I'm the first one to ask "are you sure you're my mother?"

Those of us in the know understand that the coming out process is long, painful and full of challenges. But I'm committed to my mom and I'm certain that soon enough I'll be forced to cheer her on the sidelines as she leads the PFLAG float in the next Gay Pride Parade.

Sorry I Haven't Posted...

...it's been FOREVER. And the sky is falling isn't it? While America readies itself to elect a new leader I'm sorting client invoices, thinking (or not thinking, depends on who you ask)about "that big idea," and trying to finish my home redecoration. I'm just one person, yo!

But I've got a couple of salty, provocative posts in the works. The next 8 days are going to be off the hook, I promise.

Republicans Laughing at Themselves

Former Secretary of State Colin Powell endorsed Barack Obama yesterday on "Meet the Press." It's not a black thing, it's a too-many dead soldiers and civilians in Iraq thing. Of course, no one talks that way in Washington, so the former Secretary claimed to arrive at the decision after months of careful thought and expressed "regret" for disappointing McCain. Powell also stood by his role in the campaign leading up to the invasion of Iraq in 2003 though he also expressed "regret" for the faulty intelligence that sparked the war. This, my friends, is how you stick it to your former boss in Washington. In monotone, on national television, with the same outward enthusiasm with which you order your Sunday brunch. I love it.

Just hours before Powell's statement, Sarah Palin was throwin' her hands up on Saturday Night Live while Amy Poehler rapped about Bill Ayers. Oh those crazy Republicans, with nothing left to lose before November 4 they're going to be EVERYWHERE, wagging their finger and winking at you, "are you sure you want to vote for that crazy terrorist?"

God bless em, there reward is in heaven isn't it?

Senator Obama, I am Not President Bush

Well then. The only thing that could have made tonight's final Presidential debate any more exciting would have been an announcement from the candidates that there was Kettle One in the glass tumblers. That and some good ol' chicken wing eatin' and bone tossin' between policy talk. But that didn't happen. Instead, the candidates came as close to being real as they ever have been during the campaign. The exchange was viscious and the desperation was unrestrained. This is politics and the future of the Empire is at stake. No time for nice.

John McCain, in his incessant blinking, is surely being patted on the head by his campaign leaders right now for uttering, just like they had rehearsed, "I am NOT President Bush. I can pronounce nuclear, thank you, Senator Osama." Barack Obama, having also rehearsed before the debate, just laughed.

Here's what we(I)heard:
- McCain: My friends, now is not the time to get tough on big business. We have to give them tax credits, the way the Irish do, and why the hell won't Obama come clean about blowing up buildings with Bill Ayers?

- Obama: Ha ha ha. My healthcare plan will make it easier for your employer to provide you with healthcare, and if that's not an option for you, you can buy into the same federal program folks like John McCain and I enjoy.

- McCain: Stop calling me a racist, you terrorist! I love precious special needs children.

- Obama: Special needs children need funding. The same kind of funding you're not down with.

- McCain: Why would you let a baby die? You would yank a live fetus from a woman's womb you monster.

- Obama: Did you just say you can balance the budget in four years? And who the hell is Joe the Plumber? Is he the same guy as Joe Six Pack?

- McCain: Isn't Sarah Palin somethin? I can't even tell you how proud I am of her.

- Obama: How many brothers out there know just what I'm gettin' at
Who thinks it's wrong 'cos I'm splittin' and co-hittin' that
Well if you do, that's OPP and you're not down with it
But if you don't, here's your membership

- McCain: And speaking of public schools we sent the Indian one to the same private schools as our real children.

- Obama: (Laughs) You really think I'm a terrorist who gave $800,000 to Acorn don't you?

- McCain: Isn't it funny how our wives are wearing red and blue tonight? Why do you support the drug trade in Colombia?

- Obama: We have to start making fuel-efficient cars here in the U.S.

***
CNN places Obama in the lead as of now, stating the McCain has a lot of work ahead of him to win swing states like Florida, Pennsylvania and North Carolina. That's really all the commentary I need from them but somehow they have 20 pundits sitting in front of CNN-branded laptops talking about their e-mail correspondence with both candidates' camps. Yawn.

On Being Brilliant: Paul Krugman

Last week I received some great advice: be brilliant. In the throes of me-drama, I was simply told to be my most brilliant self and watch opportunities come my way. How this relates to NY Times columnist and blogger, and as of yesterday, Nobel laureate, Paul Krugman is simple: by being brilliant, he has won the highest distinction in the field of academia. (Feel free to roll your eyes at my statement of the obvious)

The Wall Street Journal captures why I'm so excited about his win: "The Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences awarded the Nobel prize in economics to Paul Krugman, a Princeton University scholar whose groundbreaking study on trade is less known to the public than his withering assessment of the Bush administration."

When I first set out to write this blog a little over two years ago, my main inspiration was to simply say the things that I couldn't otherwise say in polite cubicle company. Though I spend a lot of my day reading the news and doing tons of writing, I ultimately work for someone else and my opinions, really, don't matter. So GCL.com is where GCL gets to be brilliant.

Now, to see a fellow blogger, and more importantly, someone has taken his field of study to prove why we are currently under the worst President in U.S. history, is inspiring. The lesson here, kids, is simple: know what you know, be brilliant, and expect big things.

"That One" is a Terrorist and/or an Uppity Negro

To make it through the day, I'm wont to fling dismissive remarks about people left and right. If I were to simply refer to someone as "that one," it'd be a moment of grace, for I would have exercised self-restraint.

However, John McCain's reference to Barack Obama as "that one" in last week's debate blew the lid off the issue that many of us political commentators have been tiptoe-ing around, with varying degrees of self-restraint. With less than four weeks until election time let's take off our gloves and be honest - and by honest I mean let's speak in very general, offensive terms: the choice for President comes down to a spry, septagenarian war hero with a dingbat running mate OR a smart, uppity negro with a Muslim bloodline.

The left-of-center media has set out to turn "that one" into the new n-word. And rightfully so.

NPR's weekly series "On the Media" ran a very interest report on the subtle ways in which the McCain camp is playing on some Americans' fears that Obama could very well be Osama's hit man. Two years into the campaign for President, Team McCain is still asking "who is Barack Obama?" when they really mean to ask "don't you all see the turban on his head and the dynamite strapped to his chest?" To ask, at this point, how much we know about Obama is really asking "are you ready to hand control over to a Black man?"

To be fair, the McCain camp's vetting process is less complicated than Match.com's. So, yes, they do have a right to question who the opposing candidate really is when they don't even know the hot mess of a VP candidate they have on their hands (duh, the best defense is a good offense). At this point in the election, we know enough about Barack Obama - perhaps too much. We've only scratched the surface with Sarah Palin, though, and thus far, we're coming up with a right-wing Pentecostal who can't control her teenage daughter.

Not that it matters to these folks:


I could be smug here and blast the Ann Coulters and Michelle Malkins of the world for their role in other-izing Obama and playing on stupid Americans' fears. They've both made a point of calling out every last one of Barack and Michelle's differences from mainstream (meaning under-read, under-educated, under-traveled) America, but so have I.

Until very recently, I was calling Barack B.Hussein Obama - I thought it was funny when Ann Coulter did it - simply because I did think Barack was Muslim and I thought it was insane that the Democrats pinned their hopes on a candidate with the name Hussein. I also called him the Anti Christ. And when it comes to Sarah Palin, I've been a little soft - even on her anti-gay ways.

And that's because I did (ok, do) think Obama is a little uppity. I do think that Barack and Michelle are too self-congratulatory and I still take issue with the fact that the Dems tossed Hillary to the side for a novice politician. For me, cutting Obama down was my way of saying "J'accuse the Democrats of supporting the entitled fancies of a nobody politico."

But at this point in the election, my choices are pretty limited. Between Barack's entitled ways and Sarah Palin's idiocy, my choice for President is pretty clear. Were it not for Sarah Palin I may still, sort of, be on Team McCain, but homegirl's backwoods ways are too much for me. After all, Barack's uppitiness should have endeared him to me, God knows I've been called uppity more times than I've been called a fag. Uppity people of color unite!

I Know Sarah Palin and I Don't Hate Her

Watching Sarah Palin over the past few weeks, and learning more about her right leaning ways - from her book banning to her church's pray-the-gay-away beliefs - I realize that I've known Sarah for much longer than I thought.

Here's a story for you:

A few days ago someone asked me if homophobia still exists. "Really? Are people really homophobic?" Were it not for the sincerely confounded expression on the person's face I would have thought this was an insane question. But this person (who is obviously straight) just couldn't fathom why anyone in the 21st century would care enough to make an issue out of someone's sexual orientation. Given this person's easy rapport with yours truly, it just seemed right for them to assume that gays always have it rosy with the rest of the world.

This got me to thinking about Sarah Palin and the YouTube video I posted a few days ago from the HRC about her anti-gay ways. And then it donned on me: I can't hate Sarah Palin, I've known her for most of my adult life.

My mom's sister-in-law is pretty fierce. She has a career in finance and is all about the power suits and the Midtown grind. She knows numbers and how to decorate a room and she never raises her voice. When I was a teenager, her house was my favorite place to be - and bless her heart - she loved hosting sleepovers for my brother and me and making us breakfast on Saturday mornings.

Until I came out of the closet.

For all of her Working Girl savvy, my aunt also believes that I can pray the gay away. And until I did, I was told that I was no longer welcome in her home. For sleepovers OR breakfast. Interestingly enough, she was the first person I came out to. That was the kind of rapport we had.

You would think my aunt was some kind of backwoods monster. But no, she's a smart woman of the world with an unflinching faith. She's not going to come and set my house on fire and she's not going to picket at my funeral, but she certainly believes I've made a terrible choice with my life.

I've seen her a few times at family gatherings, and while we keep a respectful distance from each other, she's charming, witty, and hell, she'll wink at you once or twice. Sound like anyone running for VP?

While I can't say I support her political views, I understand where Sarah Palin is coming from, and I don't think it's a place of malice. That said, she's more than entitled to be a lovely, religious zealot in the privacy of her own home and in the confines of her church, just like my aunt. But I wouldn't want either of them, for all their numbers savvy and smart pant suits, a heartbeat away from the Oval Office.

LIVE BLOGGING PRES DEBATE: Who Won?

I'd say Tom Brokaw...God, I would KILL for a deep, commanding voice like that.

That aside...

Hands down, this is Barack's moment. But that's not to say this was a rousing debate. At this point, we all know the country can't stand another 8 years of blithe Republican leadership. Barack knows it, and hell, McCain knows it. It's one thing to issue a series of mean (but clever) ads likening your opponent to Paris Hilton and it's another to look at him in the face and say "what do you mean we need change? these have been the best 8 years of our life!"

Country first, John. And for your somnambulent performance tonight we thank you. Thank you for your service to this country, but please exit stage left and let history run it's course.

And while that's something our maverick candidate never set out to do, he's had to run, at full gallop, into the embrace of the Republican Right. With that, all Barack had to do was show up and not come across as some unhinged, anti-industry liberal.

Done.

LIVE BLOGGING PRES DEBATE: Pakistan?

McCain wants to talk softly and carry a big stick. Pakistan is a sovereign country and we have to play nice while they harbor terrorists.

Obama calls out McCain for his bomb bomb bomb approach to Iraq, Iran, North Korea.

McCain pleaded for a retort and he just mwah mwah mwahed about seeing the horrors of war.

McCain is on message: Dammit I've been playing this game longer! Elect me!

Poor John, doest he know this didnt work for Hillary?

LIVE BLOGGING PRES DEBATES: When Does America Become a Peace Maker in the World?

McCain says America continues to be a force for good and that only he has the experience to know when the return on investment warrants American military might. He called out Barack for getting it wrong on the surge in Iraq and for being someone who has gotten it wrong on foreign policy.

Barack says he doesn't understand why we invaded a country that had nothing to do with 9-11 while Osama Bin Laden continues to train fighters against the U.S. The surge is inching toward a $1 trillion deficit. The war costs us $10 billion a month while Iraq enjoys a $79 billion deficit. The strains on our military resources are going to be the death of America as a force for good.

When to use military might:

Obama Doctrine for the use of force when national issues are not at stake:
- Morality: If we can stop it, we should be there. Case in point: the Holocaust and Rwanda.
- Mobilize the International Community: work with peace keeping forces from allied countries to

McCain Doctrine for the use of force when national issues are not at stake:
- Obama will produce more caskets in Iraq
- Cool and steady: Understanding our limits and the nuances of each situation. Temper decisions with the ability to beneficially effect a situation.

LIVE BLOGGING PRES DEBATES: Is Healthcare a Commodity?

Here we go with McCain's $5000 credit talk. But it's nonsense. Along with a bad joke about needing a hair transplant. McCain thinks healthcare is a responsibility. Barack says it's a right. And he threw in a story about his dying mother. Trump that, McCain.

LIVE BLOGGING PRES DEBATES: Can Congress Move Quickly on the Environment?

McCain: Extolling the virtue of nuclear (not nuke-u-lar)as a vehicle (my bad pun) for sound environmental policy. And Americans are the best.

Obama: A challenge is an opportunity. Drilling isnt the only solution to the problem. We need to come up with alternatives.

God this is a boring debate.

The best part is watching Tom Brokaw scold the candidates on time.

LIVE BLOGGING PRES DEBATE: What Sacrifices Should We Make for America?

McCain advocates a spending freeze with the exception of defense and veterans' care.

Crazy, Barack is the first to mention 9-11 in this debate. Anyway, it's the segue toward comments about nation-building and collaboration. Barack thinks we all need to be more prudent with our energy use...yes, he's for offshore drilling, clean coal and safe nuclear energy. Our efforts should also be focused on doubling the Peace Corps and a volunteer corps within the country.

LIVE BLOGGING PRES DEBATES: How Bad is it going to get?

Obama: Totally has faith in American economy, but Washington needs a change and we need to adopt modern financial policy, with more oversight, for modern economic issues.

McCain: Economy could stabilize if we get rid of chronyism in Washington; America's workers are the best in the world. Best, best, best.

Teresa Finch wants to know (I think) why anyone should trust either party when both Dems and Reps have been squandering away tax payers' money?

Me too.

LIVE BLOGGING PRES DEBATES: Who's Up for Treasurer Secretary Post?

McCain is into eBay CEO Meg Whitman.

Obama might nominate gazillionaire philanthropist Warren Buffet.

Tom Brokaw scolds both men - y'all got but one minute to answer a question. S***

LIVE BLOGGING PRES DEBATE: Bail Outs for Everyone?

Obama lunges for McCain's jugular and his support of de-regulation and hoping "prosperity would rain down on all of us." McCain now on an energy kick. We have to stop paying for foreign energy and relive young Americans of a $10 trillion debt. $10 trillion??

Hope that's going toward my credit card.

Why Am I Into Lil Wayne?

Fav line from this song: "Been hated on so much the Passion of Christ need a sequel."

Will definitely be live blogging tonight's debate, in case you thought I forgot about the purpose of this blog.

Curtains for New York?

As the lights come up on Wall Street's party, those of us who observed the fun from the sidelines - in shock, disgust and unabashed envy - realize that with the end of the Almighty finance guy, so too comes the end of New York.

The economy, as you may have heard, has fallen apart. The business of making the world go round, one which you and I thought was being handled by brilliant minds, turned out to be Off Track Betting in Prada suits. In the time it took us to realize this, the Prada suits became New York's smart, type-A answer to Los Angeles' silly starlets. You can have Britney and Lindsay, we laughed. We placed our bets on Gordon Gecko.

And why shouldn't we have?

New York didn't come about by playing it safe. A hunger for risk turned this city the kind of place where a twentysomething could realistically expect to make a couple of million dollars before turning 30. As we saw Wall Street rake in the billions and trillions, we hoped the good luck would rub off on the rest of us. And it did, sort of. Rents skyrocketed and that gritty New York of yesteryear gave way to the sanitized version of the city that saw a Washington Mutual bank under uninspired buildings housing $2 million studio apartments. We grit our teeth in resignation and downed some more martinis - "let it go," we thought. "This is New York." We were all having a good time, even in the post 9-11 era.

But now we're not having a good time and many of us feel as if we're on a slow march to even worse times. The news of Wall Street's collapse is just that: news. We won't really feel the effects of this catastrophe until another six or nine months, or so more learned minds tell us.

What's to become of the $2 million studios as the razzle dazzle of the second Gilded Age fades out is anyone's guess; yours truly believes that New York has taken one giant step toward obsolescence. Enter the new centers of trade and risk: Sao Paulo, Shanghai, Mumbai.

Biden: Slick; Palin: Reinvigorating

Last week Kathy Griffin made an interesting point: how crazy is it that at this point in our nation's history the current Presidential race is stuck in a dead heat? By now we should be wanting to root for McCain the underdog, Obama should be killing him in the polls - but no, McCain still has a good shot at the White House!

And so it goes with tonight's debate. According to some Republicans, Palin reinvigorated the McCain ticket. All I heard was a very nice homophobic woman from the middle of nowhere who sounded like she stumbled into a Presidential debate after making a wrong turn at the check out counter at Chico's. She did much better than I expected her to and while I don't want her in the White House, I can't find it in me to hate her either. She was - argh - cute.

Joe Biden was slick, authoritative and comfortable talking about foreign policy, the war, and the economy. But he copped out on gay marriage and that was a huge let down for me. He also lost me on the numbers he cited about healthcare...so I have some homework to do on that.

I'll say Biden won the debate but gosh darn it, Little Sarah Palin didn't fall apart like we hoped she would so now what??

LIVE BLOGGING VP DEBATE: Gosh, Dog Gon, Her Reward Is In Heaven

...and the mainstream media ruins everything.

Oh Sarah and her rote, right-wing Ronald Reagan quoting self.

Joe Biden kept his ending short and sweet...God Bless America.

LIVE BLOGGING THE VP DEBATES: Darfur?

Biden spearheaded movement for military intervention in Bosnia in the 90s. Iraq would be a mistake. Darfur is another story, we should go because no one likes genocide.

Palin: Americans want straight talk. And they're in a position to help. Legislation needs to be put in place to help Darfur.

LIVE BLOGGING THE VP DEBATES: Huge Blunders, We Want to Talk About Change, Just Not With You, You and the Castro Brothers

Who doesn't love Israel? Palin and Biden sure do.

But Biden called out McCain for eagerly embracing McCain's isolationist, blow-em-up policies. Palin says change is afoot.

And the surge principles of Iraq need to be incorporated in Afghanistan.

LIVE BLOGGING: Gay Hot Button - I'm Hurt

Biden: We do support making sure that committed couples in a same sex have the same rights as heterosexual couples do.

Palin: I have a very diverse family and I'm tolerant. I don't support defining marriage as anything but as something between one man and one woman. I'm being straight up.

BUT NEITHER OF THEM SUPPORT GAY MARRIAGE.

I was kinda hurt by Joe Biden.

LIVE BLOGGING THE VP DEBATES: Sarah Palin Sounds Like Ned Flanders Doesn't She?

She doesn't want to ar-diddly-argue about the cause of global warming, she just wants to fix it. If only us evil East Coast elitists would let her.

Bless her re-tar-diddly heart.

LIVE BLOGGING THE VP DEBATES: What's the Windfall Tax?

A windfall profits tax is a higher tax rate on profits that ensue from a sudden windfall gain to a particular company or industry.

LIVE BLOGGING THE VP DEBATES: Healthcare

Sarah Palin: $5,000 credit for everyone instead of Obama's government regulated healthcare plan - no one is happy with the way the Government handles anything.

Joe Biden: That credit is actually the result of higher taxes that ultimately sell out Americans' access to healthcare...it's a bridge to nowhere.

LIVE BLOGGING THE VP DEBATES: It's GWEN IFFIL not GLEN IFFEL

sorry...live blogging and eating.

LIVE BLOGGING THE VP DEBATES: Did Sarah Palin Give Gwen Iffil the Finger?

"I may not answer the questions the way that either the moderator or you want to hear but I'm going to talk straight to the American people and let them know my track record also." -- Sarah Palin

LIVE BLOGGING THE VP DEBATES: CALLING ALL REDNECKS

Sarah Palin is calling Joe Six Pack and all hockey moms to keep Wall Street and predator lenders in check.

Joe Biden and Glen Iffel are trying to keep a straight face.

LIVE BLOGGING THE DEBATES: CAN I CALL YOU JOE? And NO Talking, Clapping, Jeering

Joe Biden is off to a slow start, Sarah Palin is SHAKING. Her voice is almost quivering! But her brows look great. And, woe is me, she used the word Maverick. URGH.

LIVE BLOGGING THE VP DEBATES: I'm Hungry, Please Answer the Following Questions

Am I the only person in America who doesn't understand what, exactly, happened to the economy? I know all hell broke loose this week (trust me, I tried to pull a career coup with this knowledge but no dice) but, how did it happen? And again, WHAT happen? We keep talking about trillions of dollars being lost and I'm picturing the Hamburgler trepsing off holding bags with big dollar signs on them.

So I'd like for Sarah Palin and Joe Biden to explain, first, what happened? And second, how they're going to fix the mess.

In the meantime, I'll eat my dinner.

LIVE BLOGGING THE VP DEBATES: Feel Safe? Thank Alaska

I want to know when "America fell in love" with Sarah Palin, as CNN is claiming right now. Of course, that point is moot seeing as homegirl was cornered into a wall by America's sweetheart news anchor Katie Couric. That was, for me, the white girl version of a b*** slap - one that CBS played out for days, teasing the public with snippets of Sarah Palin's seemingly endless supply of stuttering, incoherent ruminations on foreign policy and the economy.



If you're feeling extra snafe tonight, call up an Alaskan and thank them for keeping an eye on Russia.

LIVE BLOGGING THE VP DEBATES: One Heartbeat Away...

...not on our watch. I know I've swung right a few times and was even ready to vote for McCain. Thankfully, Lynn Spears - err- Sarah Palin flung me farther left than I ever thought I'd go in this election.

The Vice Presidential debate is a few minutes away and I'll be live blogging here.

Why don't you use the next few minutes to watch a video from the Human Rights Campaign on why Tina Fey - err - Sarah Palin, is too dangerous to be put one heartbeat away from the White House.

Is GCL Too Ignant for a Nobel Prize?

From CNN: According to Horace Engdahl, permanent secretary of the Swedish Academy, the folks behind the Nobel Prize, American writers are too stupid to compete with European writers for the most coveted prize in literature.

"The U.S. is too isolated, too insular. They don't translate enough and don't really participate in the big dialogue of literature," Engdahl said. "That ignorance is restraining."

True, we are a country that is thiiiis close to putting John McCain and Lynn Spears in power, but it's ridiculous to say that a conservative blip in our nation's history erases our nation's rich literary heritage. Am I the only person who's read Style from A to Zoe??

This isn't the first time the esteemed society of Nobel laureates has pish poshed America either. Last year some crazy writer said that the September 11th attacks were no big deal compared to the IRA attacks on the UK in 70s and 80s.

Wha?

It's not fun to be an American right now. With the world poo-pooing us for our stupid leaders, our tanking economy and our country's recent obsession with moose hunting, we're inching toward yokel cousin status on the world scene.

But we're not yokels yet and I take umbrage (there's a word for ya) at the disrespectful, haughty tone some of these Euro trash intellectuals are taking with America. Don't you know our crazy President loves to bomb people? How'd you like a pre-emptive strike on Stockholm before your fancy little award ceremony next week? I'm sure the nice people of Sweden don't all agree with Horace Engdahl, but just to be safe, someone should hang him in a public square as a sign of good faith toward America.

Just a thought.