Saturday, March 03, 2007
Michelle Malkin Would Make a Great Fag Hag
I don't always agree with Michelle Malkin. I think she tries a little too hard to be Miss All-America, but honestly, I think her misguided heart is in the right place. Like most Americans, she's worried about her country and thinks that a hardline approach is the only solution to our problems, both at home and abroad.
And while she is staunchly anti-gay-marriage, she's not into hate speech. Unlike Ann Coulter, who had this to say about John Edwards yesterday at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC):
"It turns out you have to go into rehab if you use the word 'faggot' [...] so I can't really talk about John Edwards."
Instead of applauding her fellow conservative, Michelle Malkin blasted Coulters unabashed bigotry:
"[Referring to the audience's reaction to Coulter's comment] A smattering of laughter. Not from this corner."
Now this got me to thinking about two scenarios:
The first involves me, Michelle and some martinis here in Chelsea and a dance-off at Bank. Michelle and I will call each other Gook, Spic, Faggot and Cunt and probably make out in a cab ride back to her hotel room where we'll order champagne, watch the Golden Girls and wake out a crumpled mess and ready for brunch.
And that's because I think Michelle Malkin could be a gay guy's best friend if she left her suburban bubble in Virginia and spent some time with fun gays who are as concerned about this country as she is, but don't have a stick up their butt about it. (Insert cheap gay joke here)
The second scenario involves Ann Coulter coming to Chelsea and calling me a faggot. Make no mistake, I would grab that bitch's hair and make her eat every last strand of her hideous peroxide blond locks. Now some faggots might like Ann Coulter's brand of hate mongering but not me. Those "conservative" faggots who applaud her and George Bush and Dick Cheney deserve their moniker and every last insult spewed at them by their party of choice.
So kudos to Michelle Malkin for earning a gold star for the conservatives this weekend. And hell, here's a gold star for Ann Coulter, she may have spared us from a Mormon President with her endorsement of Mitt Romney.