Thursday, December 06, 2007

NRA: Watch Out for Grizzlies, not Sociopaths

It's the grizzlies, stupid. Stop worrying about second-ammendment-empowered-sociopaths and focus on the rising grizzly bear population.

So says the National Rifle Association on their web site.

Any mention of yesterday's killing spree in Omaha? You know, the killing of 9 Americans, patriots (?)just weeks before Christmas, the holiday that the Jews and other demagogue Americans have declared war on? No. It's all about the grizzlies. And the deer. And soon enough chinchillas and black people will be an unstoppable foe so we best stock up on Smith & Wessons now.

I hate the NRA.

The gun lobby hovers just above the child prostitution industry in my book. Tell me, of all the problems to be tackled in the world, how does securing access to guns manage to rank at all? Hunger, AIDS, cancer, providing people weapons to kill each other? Yes, these all seem like worthwhile causes.

Of course, the red-blooded Americans at the NRA will tell you that were it not for guns we'd still be courtseying to the Queen of England. They'll tell you that soon enough some rogue illegal immigrant is going to brave the scorching desert to climb into your suburban home to rape and kill your family.

They won't tell you that the most violent crimes of 2007 were committed by Americans with legally purchased weapons.

If the second ammendment exists in defense of America's sovereignty, how many guns were used to stop the terrorists on 9-11?


Don't Touch.

Leave the Area.

Tell an Adult.

That's what the NRA is going to tell you. Well, your kids anyway. Thanks to the Eddie Eagle Program, a PR-101 tactic designed to placate concerns that guns kill children. It's OK for the gun lobby to enter our schools and teach children in pre-school through third grade about gun safety, but hell's bells you best NOT tell teenagers that a penis and vagina and Stoli do an unwanted baby make and guess what? You can avoid that, the clap, the drip, and the HIV if you use a condom. Because once you say that you're demoralizing the youth of America.

Come to think of it, the Eddie Eagle Program does sound an awful lot like an abstinence program. Kids, if you see a penis or vagina...

So, don't expect the hyper-funded NRA to address the war on Christmas, hunger, AIDS, or your fears that any derranged teenager can legally buy a gun and shoot up the mall. Expect them to infiltrate our taxpayer-funded schools with their feel-good propaganda. Heaven forbid children should be taught tolerance, or even how to paint or play an instrument. As long as we can pay for them to be spokespeople for a governemnt-funded terrorist organization, all is right with the world.


Richard said...

"guns kill children"... Really? All by themselves?

Gene said...

Ah, the vicissitudes of language. "Guns kill children." "Guns are used to kill children." "Guns are used to kill children when the reach of the killer doesn't quite make it to the children."

This could go on forever; nonetheless, the children are just as dead.

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