Wednesday, October 31, 2007

To All the Girls I've Loved Before



I know I want to write about women tonight, but I'm not sure what, exactly, I want to say. And why am I thinking about women anyway? Maybe the Slut-o-ween festivities have gotten the best of me or I'm intrigued by Cristina Kirchner, President-elect of Argentina. But I've been doing a lot of thinking since Friday about the special relationship between gay men and women.

I'm not into vajayjay, but I go through three, four, twenty female crushes a week. Last Friday I was at a housewarming party and couldn't stop talking to James after we left about one guest whose stilettos, smart cocktail dress, intoxicating perfume (Eau des Merveilles; I had to ax)and equally captivating conversation had me swooning. I'm also three years into what I think is a relationship most similar to that of my parents with a coworker-cum-best-friend who abuses me, chides my wardrobe choices and torments my dreams whenever our personalities get to be too much and we stop talking. And just recently, a gay friend and I came to the conclusion that supermodel vajayjay is not the same as real vajayjay which means that enough Dom P and the right Fischerspooner remix could make a slip permissable and forgivable.

Somehow I don't see GCL slippin'.

Well, maybe for Gisele.




Anyway, women.

I did a Google search for gay + vagina and I got a whole lot of Tranny Talk.

Political Commentary: I love all people but I often wonder how T for Tranny found it's way into my queer alphabet soup. I quote Creative Loafing: "What [do] I as a gay man have in common with a man who wants to cut off his penis, surgically construct a vagina, and become a woman. I'm not passing judgment, I respect transgendered people and sympathize with their cause, but I simply don't get how I am just as closely related to a transsexual (who is often not gay) as I am to a lesbian (who is). Is it wrong for me to simply ask why?"

And it's a serious question now that several gay groups are not supporting a workplace protection act for gays and lesbians on the basis that it excludes protection for the transgendered community.

Eek. That's rough. A few years ago people didn't think I deserved any rights, so if I'm two steps ahead of the game now, maybe I should help those left behind catch up?

To my chagrin, my ribald Google search didn't yield anything on vagina dentata either. VD (hee hee), or fear of the toothed vajayjay, is not, as I suspected, keeping gay men from sticking their penaynays(?)where "God wanted them to for reproduction."

My search did lead me to the article I just cited above from the Southern Voice about a group of protestors who descend on the campuses of Georgia State University, Georgia Institute of Technology and Kennesaw State University to blast Gays, Lesbians, Muslims, Hindus, Jews and masturbation (in that order). And what I loved about the article is this quote from one protestor: We’re out here for the liars, the thieves, the adulterers too. We’re out here for everybody.

Um, you know who he's quoting, right? Yeah, the Apostle John, but it's really MA-friggin-DONNA. Her reading of the book of Revelation at the opening of the Reinvention Tour is on my Stairmaster playlist and that part of about thieves (thump) adulterers (thump) and (thump) all (thump) liars (thump, thump, thump) gets me to the 300+ calories burned mark.



So that's my spiel on gay men, women and the space between the two.

Political Commentary: Just because I'm going soft (hee hee) for the fairer sex doesn't mean I'm becoming a PHG.

General Commentary:

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