Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Gay Couples as Boring as Straight Couples
Whether the government allows us to file joint taxes or not, James and I (not pictured above) are just as boring as any other straight couple.
From Reuters: Gay and lesbian couples are just as committed in their relationships as heterosexuals and the legal status of their union doesn't impact their happiness [...]regardless of sexual orientation, as the level of commitment increased, so did the ability to resolve conflict -- debunking the myth that same-sex relationships are not built on the same level of commitment as heterosexual ones.
As it happens, most of my gay friends are in relationships. These are 2, 3 year affairs in the case of my 20-something-year-old friends (which is like a million years when you're a PYT in NYC), and there are 10-plus-ers in James' clique. When we're not gathering for theater night we're hosting dinner parties and playing Balderdash.
What the study from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champagne didn't highlight is that many gay relationships also have a more amorphic definition of commitment. Like, what happens in the steam room stays in the steam room if-you-know-what-I-mean. Not that every gay relationship is that way, but the fact of the matter is that without the legal constructs that hold up conventional marriage, many gays in long-term relationships are prone to shrug off their partner's indiscretions after 2, 10, 20 years of co-habitation. It's not settling, it's not "these are the cards life dealt us," it's more, "we're in this for the long-haul and no one said we couldn't have fun along the way." I call these couples Thoroughly Modern Millies.
For those boys, and even straight couples who let their partners go out for "ladies' night" or "guys' night" a Hep A vaccine and an awareness of the superbug would be prudent. Regardless of your sexual orientation, stuff splashes around when you're getting a lap dance. Trust.
As for James and me, it doesn't look like either of us is going anywhere. We're committed to each other, our cozy rent-stabilized apartment in Chelsea, and our Saturday morning waffle breakfasts at the Gallery Diner. Those are the cards life dealt us.