Thursday, September 11, 2008

Election Glossary

Our political vocab is evolving as we approach November. Oh for the days of "change," "straight talk," hell, I'll take "nuke-u-lar" over today's "bridge to nowhere" and "maverick."

Alas, these are the terms that may make or break the election, depending on who's team you're on. And speaking of teams, I know I've flipped and flopped over this but I've made up my mind: there is no way in hell I am putting Lynn Spears one heartbeat away from the Presidency.

And now for a glossary of terms:

Bridge to Nowhere: (From Wikipedia) The Gravina Island Bridge, also known as the "Bridge to Nowhere", was a proposed bridge to replace the ferry that currently connects Ketchikan, Alaska, to the Ketchikan International Airport on Gravina Island. The bridge was projected to cost $398 million.

But before Palin famously said "thanks but no thanks," in that sneery voice of hers that just screams, "my GOD why is my teenage daughter such a slut and embarassment?" , Governor Palin was all about the bridge to anywhere, "just gimme the money!" she said. Sort of.

From the Boston Globe:
The Alaska governor campaigned in 2006 on a build-the-bridge platform, telling Ketchikan residents she felt their pain when politicians called them "nowhere." They’re still feeling pain today in Ketchikan, over Palin’s subsequent decision to use the bridge funds for other projects - and over the timing of her announcement, which they say came in a pre-dawn press release that seemed aimed at national news deadlines.

Lipstick: That which, according to Sarah Palin, separates women from angry dogs. If the GOP set out to make Hillary Clinton a bitch then Sarah Palin, by her own admission, is a ----. Though I wonder if Sarah is a Wet Slicks Fruit Spritzer, like the girls from America's Next Top Model.

Maverick: Of course, any commentary on John McCain needs to be prefaced with due deference to his outstanding military service. But really? Maverick is the best word he could come up with to describe himself and sell himself as a visionary leader? When I hear that word I think of Mickey Mouse in that cone hat with the stars in Fantasia, but I'm thinking John McCain would rather I associate him with Tom Cruise in Top Gun.

So, is a maverick a mouse or a closet-case Scientologist? Sigh. Here's how defines it:

1. Southwestern U.S.: an unbranded calf, cow, or steer, esp. an unbranded calf that is separated from its mother.
2. a lone dissenter, as an intellectual, an artist, or a politician, who takes an independent stand apart from his or her associates.
3. (initial capital letter) an electro-optically guided U.S. air-to-ground tactical missile for destroying tanks and other hardened targets at ranges up to 15 mi. (24 km).

Now, here's an interesting graphic from the NY Times looking at the words most used by Dems and Republicans during their conventions.

Notice how the GOP wants to drop B-U-S-H from its vocab for good and replace it with "hockey mom." How about another two word description, and for kicks, use the words W and T to form a more appropriate description of Governor Palin.

1 comment:

David said...

I'm writing in a vote for Mariah.

It's just crazy enough to work...