So here are some pictures I took while attending my friend's wedding in Puerto Rico last week. As I watched James, my boyfriend whose last name happens to be Wilkie, I know like Sarah Jessica Parker's son, get ready for the big event, I thought, "well doesn't he look Presidential?" And truth be told, I would trust James implicitly with our nation's safety and finances (ok, just safety...sorry Jimes, you did just buy an i-phone).
And now, James Wilkie for President:
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"If you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen"...or go to Puerto Rico. As the Democratic Convention threatened to bring forth the Rapture, James Wilkie - Everyman - jetted to the balmy retreat of Rio Grande, just outside San Juan, for a little sun, some pool action, and a wedding. You know, the usual backdrops for a candidate photo opp. It's from here, the Island of Enchantment (and a U.S. Commonwealth), that the boy-from-Jersey-cum-politico plays dress up for our camera while giving us his fourteen points (or none)on how to reshape America.
Is James Wilkie a maverick? Is he revved up on the audacity of hope? Does he dare to dream about change? "I'm really here to work on my tan lines which have gone to s*** after Ptown." The candidate ponders a question on energy policy moments before leaving his hotel room at the Gran Melia Golf Resort & Villas. "Solar energy? The sun usually make me tired. Huh, go figure."
As the candidate is escorted by his security detail (of one very handsome staffer)to a friend's wedding at the resort, it's only fitting to ask for JW's point of view on same sex marriage. "Same sex marriage? I believe in keeping your game different, I aint down with sex being the same time after time, you feel me?"James doesn't have the sure footing of a Washington go-getter. Instead, he has a sort of shuffle, the JW shuffle, if you will. Arms firmly planted at his sides, teetering from side to side, he ambles along, past the palm tress and into the vanilla and honey scented lobby.
"Damn candles, no wonder there's so many bugs here."
While some political strategists might find it ill-advised to skip the Democratic convention to shake hands in a U.S. protectorate when anyone who is anyone in left-of-center politics is land-locked in Denver praising Obama and "crying their eyelashes off," our candidate sees every stretch of sun kissed beach here as vital campaign stomping ground. "What? It's still America, you don't even need a passport to come here, stupid. Now put on a hat!"
By now the festivities are well underway and the wedding has turned into a rowdy Carnival celebration. Perhaps the candidate, with his guard down, would like to talk candidly about the Democratic Presidential nominee, Barack Obama?
"Barack and Michelle Obama are the most innnnnteresting people you'd ever want to meet. They do say and do the most innnnnteresting things and their lovely little girls are the most innnnnteresting creatures."
Night has descended and the lights have come up at the wedding reception. Shuffling back to his room the candidate ponders the flight back to New York. "Coach? Aw man!" And a palm tree is uprooted.
Back in his room, the jewelry comes off, the scent of Prada for Men and Blue Sugar with a hint of Tom Ford lingers. "It's been a long night. Am I President yet?"
Not quite, James.
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