Sunday, November 26, 2006

TomKat, Brangelina, GeorLa or HilBill?


I am almost as sick of Tom Cruise as I am of George Bush. And that got me to thinking that these two men have lots in common. In fact, it got me to thinking that celebrity-couple adulation could in fact be the new arbiter of which side of the fence you're on in the Democrat-Republican divide.

Tom Cruise, like George Bush, is a little man. Inspired by a maniacal Napoleon-complex, Mr. Cruise is prone to dramatic, public displays of his manliness. Proposing to a nobody actress while dining at the Eiffel Tower is a Hollywood closet-case's equivalent of Operation Iraqi Freedom. It just shows everyone you've got the Godzilla-sized cojones to drag a woman to the top of a tower and make her yours. George Bush couldn't wait to wag his fist-pack at the world in 2003 and gave the finger to the UN when he launched a war on Iraq.

In both cases no one is laughing.

And that's because in a world full of so much wrong, both Tom Cruise and George Bush see it as their God-given duty to blow obscene amounts of money on their respective missions of macho-achievement. A wedding that has spiraled into the millions with every available A-lister (take it from a PR person, ALL of those actors in attendance were paid and it's the best publicity that both the house of Armani and the Hotel Hassler in Rome will ever have to buy for '07) in attendance is as offensive as Bush's billion-upon-billion-dollar blitzkreig on Iraq.

Tom Cruise and George Bush, driven by the conviction that they're BFF with God, choose to focus their power and wealth on reminding the rest of us mere mortals that we better think twice before effing with them (that means YOU, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Natalie Maines and Saddam).
On the other side of the fence, though, you have two other power-couples who are just as jetset and photogenic but are using their powers for the good of mankind.

Love em' or hate em', but Branglina are single-handedly giving the world a much-needed lesson on the issues of the world beyond The Ivy in L.A. From Ethiopia to India to Pakistan, the dynamic duo is directing the world's attention to the plight of orphans and refugees around the world. Angelina Jolie, whom I might, in another mood, call a homewrecking wacko, is a Good Will Ambassador for the UN and is a voice for the importance of global consensus on addressing the humanitarian issues of our time. What's more, her hunky husband isn't brainwashed, frightened
and lobotomized (Love ya, Laura and Katie) -- instead, Brad Pitt is happy to mind the kids while mommy saves the world or flies an airplane. And he looks damn fine doing it.
Remind you of anyone?
Kind of like Bill and Hilary right? I mean, Bill Clinton only lead our country through the high-flying 90s and spared us from a nuclear holocaust. Now, comfortable in his own skin as one of America's most beloved Presidents, he is happy to support his dynamo wife's Senator-ship while he leads a bi-partisan effort to eradicate AIDS in Africa. I can only imagine what W will do after he retires.
So, the next time you frown on TomKat and think to log on to CNN.com you're on Team Democrat. If, however, you think Brangelina are brazen fornicators and you have no time for them between Bible study and The O'Reilly Factor, you're sadly on Team GOP.

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