Where my girls at

James says he can't listen to his iPod while walking down the street because he's afraid of walking into a taxi. Not me. I rock it out while I walk it out. And it's usually to something millions of people in Latin America have heard on our version of American Idol -- Cantando Por Un Sue~no. Instead of singing for a record deal, though, people sing to have cancerous tumors removed or to have siamese twins separated.

If this isn't your speed, try this .

Some of Y'alls Are Comin' Home

So said W to the nation tonight in what no spin master can dub as anything but an admission that the war in Iraq is not worth the continued loss of life and erosion of America's influence as a force of peace and change.

On the one hand, great for the soldiers who are coming back home and for those who won't be sent back. But what about those who didn't come back? And I mean the dead as well as the maimed.

For many on the Right, troop withdrawl reeks of surrender. For those of us who were opposed to this war in the first place, it just screams bloody murder. Why the hell did we send thousands of young men and women to die in a place that doesn't want our help? Why was 9-11 used as an excuse to bomb Iraq when our best friends the Saudis were the ones behind the attacks on New York and Washington?

And you know what kills me? This generation's kids are probably going to backpack through Baghdad and Basra and will read about this war in their Lonely Planet guide book with no idea about the anguish its put us all through. At some point our nation's attention will shift from Iraq and our military prowess will be focused on a new enemy. Who will it be? Venezuela? Iran? Sudan? Everyone except heterosexual WASPs?

The troop withdrawl doesn't mark anything except the slow diversion of our own over-funded military to another target. Watch out.

When You Believe

As a person of faith, it's hard to process the events of the day without wondering what God thinks about all the mayhem down here.

That's my big, naive question on the anniversary of the 9-11 attacks. I could go into my thoughts about the MoveOn debacle (but it would only matter to crazy right wingers) or I could give kudos to Barack Obama for calling for the return of our troops from Iraq, but what I really want to know is where is this world headed?

Differing points of view on "God's plan" for mankind have left millions dead and billions more confused. (If) God is love, how much longer will it take for him to set the record straight on what he wants from us (if he wants anything at all)? Someone has to be on to something here, so who is it? Is it the jihadists? Is it the Christian right?

These questions are bigger, and more important, than our pithy elections and our over-publicized culture war. There are many points of view on how God wants us to live our lives, and these are all shaping the world we live in today.

Wouldn't it be nice, then, if we just got the facts straight up from the man in charge?

It's Fashion Week, Bitch

Instead of forcing yourself to love yourself, force yourself to look this fierce.

Uh-oh, what if Chavez turns out to be useful?

Hugo Chavez is in Colombia to broker negotiations between the country's pro-US government and the leftist Revolutionary Armed Forces.

It's a great PR stunt, but it makes me think of the question that cracked egg over Obama's face -- how much can a government entertain the likes of Chavez before it becomes complicit in the dictator's self-aggrandizement?


And the same can be said of the FARC who have entertained other Colombian presidents and have pretended to make overtures at peace. In the end, though, the kidnappings don't stop and hostages like Ingrid Betancourt have yet to be released.

So who's using who here? And what does the U.S. stand to lose if someone like Chavez can trump the billions of dollars we've spent in Colombia by talking sense into the guerrilla group?

The latter just won't happen. After all, the FARC became a narco-terrorist group a long time ago and their new goal is to run the country's drug trade. None of those creeps is out for socialism anymore.

In the meantime, as the group makes weak attempts at legitimacy, neither Chavez nor the guerrillas stand to gain much from these very well publicized meetings.

Unfortunately, there are countless people's who's pain is only dragged out further. I suspect, though, that the families of the hostages, and the Colombian people in general, see right through this budget version of diplomacy.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Larry Craig announced that he would resign on September 30th -- W is supporting him, and with that, Craig gets to collect a paycheck for another month in spite of having broken the law. Another drawn-out departure by a criminal Republican.

Not that that's outraged anyone 'round these parts -- all the gays are at the Barney's Warehouse Sale.

Craig's misdeeds, as we all know by now, aren't uncommon among men in the closet. What y'all probably didn't know, however, is that the gays were in the Republican Party's woodwork long before they even thought to build themselves a log cabin.

This summer I've been reading TR: The Last Romantic and I'm telling you now, TR was as gay as a $500 (on sale) Marc Jacobs poncho.

TR's latent homosexuality hit a fever pitch when he got to Harvard. In fact, his letters home during his school days speak to an impossible case of blue balls as well as the self-loathing that comes with a life lived in the closet. We also get a glimpse into a budding gay whore:

Tom Nickerson started our table. He is quite handsome with a truly remarkable mustache. At first he gives one the impression of being effeminate, but is not a bit so in reality, being one of our best football players. (p.61)

Bob Bacon is the handsomest man in the class and is as pleasant as he is handsome. (p.61)

All I'm saying is that TR would have LIVED in the 70's, girl.

But before TR cast eyes on Tom Nickerson and Robert Bacon, Abraham Lincoln was sharing a bed with a storekeeper in New Salem, Illionois.

Fast-forward to the present, past Ray Cohn, Tom Foley and Ted Haggard, and you've got a party that's more festive (and effeminate) than the dudes at the Rawhide. Except for Mary Cheney, who's like, way more of a man than I'll ever want to be.

My advice to the shamed again Republicans: Give up the act, girls. You're not fooling anyone. Anti-gay legislation is closet case behavior -- let's see if you're man enough to give everyone the rights they deserve without feeling the slightest bit threatened.

All the Hot Guys in my Hood Have Syph

You know how when you travel to the third world you're told to not drink the water? Well, if you're coming to Chelsea, don't sleep with the locals.

From the New York Times:

Earlier this month, the city’s Department of Health and Mental Hygiene reported that in the first 13 weeks of 2007, cases of syphilis more than doubled to 260 from 128 in the same period a year ago. Nearly all — 250 — were among men, and many were found in Chelsea, a neighborhood popular with homosexual men.

Ack.

Dudes need to get a new hobby til this epidemic dies down...chess? crochet?

If It Quacks Like a Duck

When it comes to air travel, everyone, at least in my mind, is equally capable of blowing up the plane with a shampoo-vodka concoction or slamming the aircraft into a skyscraper. And the chances of you doing said nonsense are multiplied by a million if you happen to have the same skin tone as me and the same propensity for a unibrow as me.

Which is why I can't call foul at an American Airlines pilot in San Diego who refused to take off after a passenger complained about six men speaking in Arabic to each other.

This is the kind of vigilantism we need in our skies. Forget blowing up Iraq. We should all be street fighters in the war on terror.

Love this quote from a representative for the Counsel for Islamic Relations: "Judging people by their language is one step removed from judging people by their race or religion."

My response: it wasn't a bunch of French-speaking nuns who flew our airplanes into the World Trade Center on 9-11. I have love for all people, but when it comes to air travel, everyone needs to be on their best behavior. Shut up, eat your peanuts, speak English or plug in your iPod and don't make any sudden movements.

Never Have I Ever Been Gay

And so the adage proves true yet again: people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

Senator Larry Craig's vehement anti-gay politicking has blown up all over his face. In light of unsavory allegations that one of Presidential candidate Mitt Romney's main campaign staffers was soliciting sex in a public bathroom the Senator resigned from the Romney ticket and called a press conference to defend his heterosexuality.

Whatever.

Why can't the Republicans just accept that they've got queers in their ranks and stop making gay rights a bargaining chip in our political discourse?

I suspect more embarassing allegations will arise among conservatives - bets on who's next?

Where I Been At

Was on a cruise through the Mediterranean for two weeks. Ports of call: Rome, Naples, Mykonos, Rhodes, Santorini, Istanbul, Kusadasi, Athens, Naples...

11 days at sea with both sets of parents. Have lived to tell about it. Barely.

Flick it, Read it.

And in case you're wondering, I took the pic above with my new toy.

An Open Letter to John and Hillary

Hey guys,

Thought to send you a note telling you how annoying and hypocritical you both are.

A few years ago I decided to come out to my parents and tell them that I'm gay. After my mom swept up the shards of glass and porcelain from the kitchen floor (my coming out was a smashing success in my family's Brooklyn apartment), she made one request: Just don't act that way.

Stupid as that request may be (I'll always carry a man bag, deal with it) I do think like my mom when it comes to politics. I know you politicians lie, I just don't want to know about it. Give me the most palattable version of your thoughts on war, poverty, education and gay rights and I'll vote accordingly.

For instance, I don't mind that many Republicans hate gays; they don't lie about it and I don't have to vote for them. But you're Democrats, and you talk about universal health care and righting wrongs, but you've sullied the name of our party by showing yourselves to be nothing more than a calculating dictator-in-the-making (that's you, Hil) and a rednecked southern homophobe (take a bow, John).

John, watching you whine about how you "struggle" to accept how gay people can possibly have the same rights as straight people made me dislike you more than I dislike our current President.

And I'll tell you why: George Bush had the decency to seek the support of people he knew to be as ignorant and backwards as he is. You, on the other hand, have pandered to liberals only to come out as an even bigger waste of time, money and attention than your former runnning mate.

The Dems are more than likely going to nominate you, Hillary, for the party ticket next year. And for the most part, you deserve it. You're cold, you supported the war in Iraq, in short, you'll do anything to get yourself ahead. That's pretty much the criteria (along with ridiculous cash) to run this country. So do you, girl.

But while you're climbing those last steps to the top, may I recommend you start your own party, you know, the way Hitler and Fidel Castro did? You might want to call it the Benevolent Sow Society or The Ruthless C*nt Click. Because real Democrats, people who believe everyone has the right to protection under the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, are few and far between.

Anyway guys, best of luck with this whole Presidential race thing -- FYI, just to spite you, I'd vote for Mitt Romney, another avowed homophobe and - gasp - a mormon. Right before packing up my things and moving to Rio.

xoxo,
GCL

Barack: I'm Not Playing

Remember how Barack Obama got owned by Hillary last week during the YouTube debates on CNN? The question was whether any of the candidates were open to meeting with Chavez, Ahmadinejad or Castro to move the peace process along with these leaders' respective nations. Obama said he already had an outfit planned for each encounter while Hillary said hell to the no, I ain't gonna be no propaganda puppet for no one.

Well Obama's singing a new tune now. And I like it. Today marks a turning point for the team Team Obama -- the candidate said he would absolutely use force to hunt terrorists down in Pakistan. Which is good, seeing as that's probably where Osama is hiding.

That said, yours truly isn't ever in favor of war, but desperate times do call for desperate measures. This tough talk doesn't mean Obama is going to win the election or that the Clinton camp is going to ask him to be Hill's running mate, but it's nice to see him put up a fight.

Who Knew...

... Saudi Arabia is a gay paradise? Apparently the street harassment in Riyadh is off the hook, especially if you're a pretty little Filipino. (Party for the Rights)

... John Roberts is rumored to be gay? Repressing one's true self can have dire consequences indeed. (Underneath Their Robes; Forbes)

... 11 1/2 years in TV could have the same effect on your brain as a lobotomy? (Josh&Josh)

.... a white girl could do the soca wine and piss off all of Jamaica? (Jamaica Observer)

... there's a dance called the soca wine?

You've Been Warned

Don't let your brain go to mush just because it's the middle of summer. While you're slathering sunscreen in the Pines or the Hamptons, groups across the country are taking it upon themselves to right the "wrongs" of our country's current immigration system.

First it was the Minutemen, now it's the Patriots' Border Alliance aka thinly-veiled hate groups. I'd like to dismiss these blowhards and go about my day, but that's what the German public did back in the 30s and we know how that ended.

The "Patriots" are calling for anyone with an ax to grind against the world to take their frustration out on our nation's borders. Pissed off because your Ford plant closed or because you're too good to clean toilets at a K-Mart? Get your gun and hunt for "illegals" down at the "Arizona Border Muster," a two-day affair where you can man your own Minuteman post.

Creepy, fringe activity is one thing, but these folks don't want secure borders, they want power. White power. And guns ablazing their going to seize it. Mike Forest is the president of an Oregon-based "Patriot" group and he wants to run for senator in 2010, Presidential candidate Duncan Hunter is another immigration zealot -- behind the rallies, behind the calls for "justice" is a lynch mob mentality that is going to use government to turn violent and throw us into modern day Jim Crow leadership.

Don't say you weren't warned.

A Gay Is Born (Again)

I'm usually too hungry or too absorbed in my fabulous life to let very many things affect me. But tonight at 9:45 pm I was shaken to my core and I am still a weepy, shaky mess.

When Miss Patti Lupone mopped the floor and shook the rafters of the City Center with her rendition of Rose's Turn, the final number of Gypsy, all the anger, hope and sillyness that I keep bottled up inside just came pouring out. I think we're supposed to laugh with Mama Rose at this point in the story, but Miss Lupone's voice took me there. And I am strung out on her voice and her panting and her drag-me-off-the-stage-kicking-and-screaming pizzaz.

Because I'm not a theater queen. Because people singing and panting and screaming right in front of me makes me uncomfortable. Because I don't let myself go that way in public. Because this is the best show I've ever seen on the stage.

And eff what the New York Times had to say about the show. Their hateration is "unenthralling" though predictable.

If you're in town through the 29th treat yourself to history and buy tickets now.

China Should Not Be Making Airplanes

Following any catastrophe that claims human lives there are woulda-coulda-never-again discussions that, if we're lucky, effect immediate change. Here's hoping...

In the wake of the TAM airline disaster in Brazil today I thought to calm myself by looking up evidence that reminds me that, yes, one is safer in the air than in the ground.

A few Google searches later, though, I'm not so sure believe that anymore...especially because I just learned that Airbus and Boeing will be parceling a big chunk of their manufacturing to China.

China!

The same people who nearly wiped out our cat population a few months ago because they deal in bribery and shoddy craftsmanship are now putting together jumbo jets! No thank you.

On the flip side, what good is a well made plane if it doesn't have an equally good runway to land on or a sharp control tower to take instruction from? Here in the U.S. our airports are fraught with issues: antiquated runways and overworked control towers to name a few.

When it comes to air travel, both the private and public sector are blatantly thumbing their noses at the safety of passengers. Ladies and gentlemen you're all sitting ducks.

Now fasten your seatbelts.

Victims, Palestine: Show Me The Money

Sometimes it's good to throw money at problems. Like the Bush administration pledging support for Mahmoud Abbas' government in Palestine - the message is simple: stop engaging in terror, we'll feed your people. What's even better, we're not going at it alone this time either. Instead of plowing through the Middle East with a sense of entitlement, we're reaching out to other moderate nations in the region -- Jordan, Egypt -- and are inviting them to sit at the table to, for the one billionth time, discuss the mess that is the Israeli-Palestinian situation. And for the bargain price of $190 million, it's worth it to this tax payer just to stop hearing about another series of bombings on both sides of the Gaza strip. It's a commendable step in the right direction and I won't even grit my teeth while giving President Bush his due kudos.

There are times, however, when throwing money at a situation just makes matters worse. Case in point, the record $660 million settlement awarded to the plaintiffs in a case against the Archiodcese of Los Angeles for the alleged cover up of child molestation. Does anyone think this is the last we're going to hear of blood-thirsty pedophile priests? Psssh! As we've seen over the years, claiming molestation has become quite lucrative. Which begs the question, what's the cost of a child's innocence? I mean, that's really the issue here, that children were violated by authority figures they were taught to trust. Fine. These priests belong in jail and the families belong in therapy -- not at Club Med doing aquarobics and sipping Mai Tais.

I'm very put off the by money lust going on in these cases against the Church. I'm not a Catholic nor was I raised one, but as an impartial observer, it just looks like anybody can cry rape these days and collect a pay check. It's kind of hard to take pity on someone who can ascribe a dollar amount to their suffering.

The Beckham Test of Decency

The image on the left is just one of many scintillating photos of David Beckham that grace the August issue of W magazine. Oh, and his Asian-tranny-looking-wife Victoria is in the shots, too.

As you can see, David Beckham is perfection brought to life. The tatoos, the muscles, the so-straight-I-can-do-gay-porn look. Divine. And it get's better -- he's got a skill too. Seeing as America is clamping down on immigration, David and his wife either won some sort of visa lottery or they made an impassioned case to the US Embassy about how they'd boost our country's status in the world community by moving to Hollywood. Bex could go anywhere -- Dubai? -- but he chose our land to plant that Union Jack. Hallelujah.

This is all beside the point of this post, though. See, even in barely there white skivvies, David Beckham doesn't look louche, derranged, or cracked-out. That's fashion: tasteful sexuality that leaves us wanting more. Unlike the new ads from Sisley on the right.

Hardly anyone remembers United Colours of Benetton, Sisley's parent company, but the folks there are trying like the dickens to remain relevant. Clearly, when you want to matter, you do coke. Right, Linds? Right.

But most of us are fed up with coke. We see what it did to Lindsay and the hopes of Parent Trap 3 being made. And we don't think it's funny. So yes, Sisley got my attention with two cracked-out models snorting a white dress because they're fashion junkies. I, however, see junkies strewn about 7th avenue in chelsea and they look a lot like these chicks. Not sexy, not fashionable.

Both photos test our sensibilities, but when is too much too much? If it involves David Beckham, it's best to quote the Spice Girls : "too much of something is just as tough." When it involves drugs and advertising, "stop right now, thank you very much."

Live Earth and other Noble Pursuits

I love a good show. And I happen to love Madonna. And I also love Al Gore. But something about this Live Earth global fiasco seems like more of a marketer's wet dream than a vehicle to stimulate responsible treatment of the earth's resources.

What's not sitting well with me is the spectacle of conscientiousness that is behind run of the mill self aggrandizing of Hollywood's glitterati. I have a hard time believing that Kanye West, the biggest megalomaniac in music, cares about global warming, or anything besides his ice and porn. And I doubt little else will be on the minds of the scantily-clad throngs in Rio either.

I appreciate Al's effort, and I don't doubt that the world is in for a great show -- but the emptiness behind this gesture is disappointing. I mean, even the venues selected for the shows are wack -- Having a concert for the environment in China is the most ass-backwards move ever -- the last time I checked China was killing its people with smog and the systematic bulldozing of its forests.

And the reason why the earth is being pummeled is the same reason why there are people dying of hunger in Africa -- because the world doesn't care. And just like Live 8 didn't get us to care about Africa neither will Live Earth get us to buy Priuses, or, in my case, Kanye's next album.

Sicko Politics

Life, liberty, health and great clothes -- isn't that everyone's inalienable right under the Constitution?

I just got back from watching Sicko, Michael Moore's latest attempt to shock audiences into mass hysteria and a Marxist revolution....and I'm sold! (If only because I look pretty good in camouflage).

We all know that healthcare in America sucks. I should hope it's not anti-American to say so -- the fact is we spend more money on WMD's (fighter planes don't drop daisies, you know) than on taking care of the sick. And behind this gross prioritization of funds is a (sadly) uniquely American ideal: I'll take care of myself, eff the rest of you. We simply do not see healthcare and education as a basic human right.

And that's the point Moore's film makes.

I know, I know, Moore is a fat liberal who hates America more than Osama himself. But take him out of the equation -- the fact is that America is the only industrialized nation in the world that doesn't offer universal health care. We're the richest nation in the world yet we can't manage to provide decent medical care for all of our citizens.

That's not a partisan statement, it's the truth. And it's beyond infuriating.

Another truth is that the price of denim should outrage people just as much as our abysmal healthcare system. Death and taxes are unavoidable, as is my dismay that every pair of perfectly faded and abused jeans I see bears a price tag of $250 or more.

Well I've certainly had enough (thank God it's summer and I can wear speedos everywhere) and so has one Sarah Jessica Parker. Her new line of women's clothes, Bitten, offers all the basics for a cute wardrobe -- from shoes to coats to panties -- for under $20.

But just like Hillary Clinton faced a ton of hate when she tried to bring healthcare to the masses, so too has SJP been hated on for bringing fashion to the people.

I often entertained the thought that it would be a wonderful world if everything were free. I'd toil at my PR job while the janitor toiled at his, but we could all rock denim and diamonds if we so chose.

But we're feudal creatures -- our titles define us, we all need to rank in order to matter don't we? Everyone in his place... what's the point of going to the best doctor if you're maid can see him too? What's the point of wearing a Tom Ford tuxedo if the H&M version looks the same? (that was more of a plea from me to Tom to introduce a men's line at Hennes).

Health and fashion shouldn't be political issues. To those who poo-poo on universal healthcare and fashion at great prices, I offer the following words from SJP: "tell me what troubles you about women in this country having affordable, well-made clothes [and free healthcare]. Let’s talk about it."